Day 5: Practice Virtue Habits

You've got a preliminary plan now to cultivate and manage your character strengths - how to proceed? We will take it slowly and systematically, like we have from the start. 

Last week when we talked about nurturing the four parts of yourself, I mentioned that one part of renewing your spirit is to practice virtue habits. Virtue is an old-fashioned word that I have embraced, because it makes me feel noble! Virtue is ethical behavior; it encompasses a wide array of nice habits and behaviors that you can try to build, and which will help you to act with love, and will also renew your soul.

A couple of years ago I ran across Ben Franklin's system to develop his character (and get his ducks in a row). In 1726, at the age of 20, Ben devised a small chart that he carried with himself, to record his behavior day-to-day, in 13 areas - his 13 virtues - which included temperance, silence, moderation, and chastity. (If you do a Google search you will see that MANY people are interested in Ben's system! You can buy journals and download charts if you want.)

What I found most interesting about Ben's chart is that he asked his friends for ideas about what virtues he needed to work on, and most of them were habits of moderation- he was apparently a man with large appetites! I used this system for one whole year, and found it very useful. I of course collected my own set of virtues to work on, and added them one habit at a time.

Today, if you think it will be useful, you can make your own virtue chart with your very first virtue habit, or two. Or if a chart isn't your style, I’ve made some other suggestions below. In either case, you can start with any of the specific habits or ideas from your self-cultivation plan, or you can choose something easier. Think of this as plotting the map of your love habits.

Take out your journal and your self-cultivation plan.

• Brainstorm a list of all the virtue habits you would like to practice sometime as part of your self-cultivation plan. For a list of suggestions see my Virtues Page. (Tab is on the top bar.)

Day 7: Review and Plan

Take a few minutes to review your sixth week. Write about your accomplishments and what you need to work on. Did you:

• Brainstorm some goals, dreams, and exciting ideas for your future in the areas of your health, lifestyle, finances, bad and good habits, things you'd like to learn, things that bring you happiness, and your spiritual life?

• Write about your present relationship with yourself, your inner judge and your Inner Guide, challenges and successes, and how your values, beliefs, and priorities support self-love?

• List just a few (2-4) specific Self-Love Goals for this next month (30 days)?

• Use your Love Journal each day to get to know and understand yourself better, look for ways to practice friendship with yourself, and note times when you might need to draw on generous, open-hearted kindness, or extra time, attention, and nurturance for yourself?

• Brainstorm some small generous acts you might do this week for yourself, as practice, that will challenge your growing edge?

• Practice a Love Meditation, and send the "pink light of love" to yourself?

• Discern the top self-care habits that will most help to renew your physical self, and add a few to your priority grid?

• Discern the top 1-4 subjects of learning that will make the biggest difference in your life now, and add them to this month's priority grid?

• Discern and choose the top 2-4 awareness practices that will nurture your spirit, that might make the biggest difference in your life now, and add some combination of awareness practices to this month's priority grid?

• Experiment with building an explosion of inner synergy intentionally, for a particular project, in order to infuse that project with vision and passion, and engage with full effort?

Day 5: Choose Awareness Practices

Today you will make a plan to renew and nurture your spirit or soul - that inner voice of your true nature. Your spirit is not your brain and it's not your emotions; it's your Better Self, or moral compass, and your Essential Self - the part of you that longs for purpose.

Your Better Self allows you to be responsible and honorable, and to reach beyond selfishness in order to serve others. Aristotle said that virtue is a habit like any other, and that we gain integrity by doing virtuous things. Every time you practice the virtue habit, you settle your soul in a nobler direction.

But your soul is also your Essential Self, which thrives on understanding your purpose and intentions. It’s like a rheostat of consciousness: As your level of awareness grows you are lit up ever more brightly, and can see and understand aspects of yourself and the universe more clearly.

Spiritual growth is the basis for a better and more harmonious life, a life of calmness, clarity, courage, and inner strength. It has (at least) four parts: 

-Awareness practices, such as meditation or journaling, or any practice that keeps you in the present moment or brings greater clarity to your daily life.

-Virtue habits, those little and big behaviors and characteristics of your personality that can improve with practice.

-Soul searching, which is the ongoing quest to understand your purpose and intentions. (We've been working on this already, since Chapter 1, and hopefully you are getting a clearer picture of your purpose in life now, and that is already filling the well of your spirit.)

-and opening to God or a higher power. If this is a wall for you, try to just open to the possibility that there is something outside yourself that might love you.

A note about religion: Religion is one way to practice spiritual nurturance, and, at its best, will include all of the above listed parts, plus a community of support. You don't have to have religion, though, to nurture your spirit.

Day 4: Map and Plan Life-Long Learning

Today you will make a plan to renew and nurture your mind. Mental nurturance comes in the form of life-long learning - the process of acquiring and expanding knowledge and skills throughout your life. Learning is just as nurturing as is eating good food; if you give your brain something fascinating and challenging to digest, in small bites, you will be amazed at the insights and ideas that will bubble up, and the new mental strength and clarity you will gain.

Adults are motivated to learn because of internal factors such as self-esteem, a desire for a better quality of life, or the opportunity to reach life goals. But it’s still difficult to fit in time to learn anything that isn’t essential. And if you do mental work for a living every day, you might not feel like reading in the evening; more like a sit-com on TV! 

So, let's get creative and broaden the definition. Life-long learning can be accomplished by reading books, but also by listening to podcasts, taking classes, watching a documentary, going to a museum, attending a lecture, or joining a discussion group - all these things will nurture your mental self.

Day 3: Map and Plan Self-Care Habits

Photo by Steve Abbott

For the next three days you will make a plan for self-renewal, a steady and persistent nurturance of the physical, mental, and spiritual parts of yourself. (We will look at the emotional and social parts next week.) Today you will start with your physical self.

Caring for your body is of obvious importance; that's what gives you the energy and health you need to be effective and succeed at your priorities. Physical self-care involves eating well, exercising, sleeping enough, playing, and also, because it's part of physical survival, budgeting, saving, and spending within your means.

You KNOW these things help: When you eat too much meat or sugar, you feel too sluggish to get much done; when you lack sleep or regular exercise, you lose focus; and when you over-work and don't take time for recreation, you get sick. And taking care of your finances reduces stress, and makes everything easier.

Take out your Love Journal:

• First review conversations and interactions you had yesterday, and your general frame of mind with the world.

• Next, think about the people you will see today, and the conversations you may have. Make note of times when you might need to draw on nurturance for yourself.

• And then answer these queries: