Day 7: Review and Plan

Take a few minutes to review your eighth week. Write about your accomplishments and what you need to work on. Did you:

• Brainstorm some goals, dreams, and exciting ideas that might help you to transform your world?

• Write about what you want your life to stand for - how you wish your world could change, what would make it better for everyone, and big and little problems in your life and in the world that you would like to see solved?

• Write a list of the choices and options you have for transformation now and in the future?

• Examine your Truth with a vision walk, to help expand your understanding of life, and give you greater clarity?

• Write a haiku mission statement for one project or goal that is rising to the top of your priorities?

• Prepare to seek clarity with a few others, either in a formal clearness process or an informal discussion, by writing a short essay introducing your mission, and a list of questions?

• Open the door to transformational love and accept that you will find the strength to carry out your mission?

• Map out your mission, set an intention, make a backwards calendar, and a full effort plan?

• Try a creative awareness process, using observation of your encounters with uncertainty, leaning in to encounters with uncertainty, your love journal to review encounters with uncertainty, and touching the river of Transforming Power to step out of the safety zone and make a shift to peace, strength, and joy?

Schedule your next week, Step 1: 

• Thursday - Adjust your Priority Grid for the month: Check off what you have completed, add new items you have thought of, and move anything down lower that no longer fits.
• Friday - Block in your schedule for the next week: Add events and blocks of time for your priority categories (such as an hour for committee work on Tuesday and Thursday).
• Saturday - Fill in the details: Schedule a daily time for all of your daily priorities, like exercising; choose days and times for the one-day tasks like sending that birthday card; and schedule in the chunks of those big task-driven projects. 

 

Evaluate your Ducks in a Row: If situations are constantly moving you away from your priorities and you feel dissatisfied and out of balance, make a note about why that is. Also, make a note of which of your priorities are getting left out of your life. 

Brainstorm new goals, dreams, and exciting ideas for your future.

Summary

You transform your world when you get clear on your missions, test your leadings, and open the door to creative risk-taking. No matter our limitations, we can produce the energy of love and extend it to the world so that it grows out in ripples.

 

Going forward, you will:

• Examine your Truth - often, in whatever way works for you (your journal, vision walks, a clearness process, ...?)

• Open the door to transformational love  - daily, for as long as live. 

Day 6: Take a Creative Risk

Nothing changes unless we change. All the work you have done to know yourself and understand others is interesting; but it's how you use it that takes it from interesting to transformative. You are now equipped with the knowledge to transform your thoughts and feelings by acting on your Truth and extending love to the world - you can simply tune into your values and principles, and draw on your strengths and the transforming power of love.

Transforming Power is a term coined by the Alternatives to Violence Project, which was started by Quakers and inmates at the Greenhaven Prison in New York in the 1970's, at a time of great unrest and violence. Together the inmates and the Quakers developed non-violence workshops inside prisons, which continue to this day, with town and inmate students, and town and inmate leaders.

In a nutshell, Transforming Power is a river of energy at your core, made up of your essential wisdom, strength, and goodness, which you can touch in with in order to experience a shift. It might be a shift from anger or resentment to peace; it might be a shift from fear and powerlessness to strength; it might be a shift from sadness or worry to joy. 

The shift you experience might be slow and steady or like a lightning bolt, but it will contain an element of love: You become part of the whole, no longer isolated. You will experience a self-acceptance and a sense of peace that allows you to connect with others without hesitation. It's this connection that transforms you: Your view of the world is transformed, everything is different. You see people and situations in a new light, are able let go of whatever was holding you back and act - one small step at a time.

The Alternatives to Violence Manual says, “'Transforming Power’ is not dogma nor is it an item of faith. It is simply a term to refer to something that participants often experience when they respect themselves, care for others, seek a non-violent path, think before reacting, or expect the best.” AVP gives every participant a little card to carry that lists the Guides to Transforming Power. I want to highlight three:

-Base your position on truth.

-When you are clear about your position, expect to experience great inward power to act on it.

-Do not expect that this response will automatically ward off danger. If you cannot avoid risk, risk being creative rather than violent.

The final habit we will practice is the habit of creative risk-taking. Creativity is our greatest super-power, the rich resource that leads us towards transformation. You've been practicing creativity all throughout this book - you've generated creative ideas with brainstorming (which is, remember, to freely think outside the box and generate ideas without the fear of criticism); you have creatively visualized your path forward with vision walks; and then you created a map of your future.

Day 2: Truth Walk

Truth is a continual revelation, a constantly unfolding series of insights about how your mind works, how the world works, and how you might best act with more love, generosity, justice, and peace. I'm using Truth with a capitol T to mean an absolute - something that is foundational for you: Your values and principles, and your world view, and the leadings you have for action. 

If you have no Truths (no moral absolutes) then you will have no moral guidance. Everything will be situational: Whatever feels or seems right at the time and in that situation is right. This kind of “whatever feels good” mentality and lifestyle creates a society that regards all values, beliefs, lifestyles, and truth claims as equally valid. If we have no absolutes, then chaos follows.

At the same time, we need to accept that Truth is not the same for everyone, and learn how to listen to the Truth of others without getting angry or confused. And we need to accept that our own foundations change, as we grow and understand the world differently. 

Examining your Truth from time to time is a habit that expands your understanding of life, and gives you greater clarity.

Yesterday you wrote out your conscious, top-of -the-mind ideas about how you wish your world could change, and ideas that could lead you to change your world for the better. Now take another pass at it. This time, access your deeper, intuitive mind - your connection to God, or the Inner Guide, by putting yourself into a relaxed, trance-like state, and seeking a leading of the spirit with an open mind and heart.

Week 8: Transform Your World + Day 1: Journal & Set Intentions

For the first four weeks of this challenge, you deep-dived into your reasons for living, made a map of your path forward, and a plan for how to give full effort to your priorities. And for the last three weeks you centered your living in love by giving open-hearted attention to your daily interactions with the people in your life, to your personality style, and to generosity, equanimity, and other virtues and social skills.

The only thing remaining to do is to go out and transform your world. That's the gift we have - to see what needs to change and do the work to change it. No matter our limitations, we CAN make the world better, one smile, kind word, or conversation at a time. 

When I say "transform your world" I am suggesting a shift towards a better life: It could be mostly an inner renovation, or lifestyle alteration; it could be an adjustment in your relationships; it could be a new project or area of growth; or it could be a move into activism or service. You might already have an inkling of where you are being nudged. 

The work of transforming your world has several steps. This week you will take time to hear your truth, and get clearer on your various missions in life; learn how to test your leadings; and how to open the door to the uncertainty of life, take creative risks, and find the courage to act on your leadings. 

We will go through the steps of discernment - the process of making deeply important decisions in your life - that I set out at the beginning of this book. You will:

-Use your practical wisdom, collect information, reflect on your values, and weigh all the possibilities for action. 

-Seek a leading of the spirit (God or Inner Guide) with an open mind and heart. 

-Seek clearness by inviting thoughtful questioning (not advise) from some people you trust.

A note about your Inner Guide

I've mentioned your Inner Guide throughout this book, but what is it, really? Some people call it intuition, or a gut feeling; others feel it in their heart; and some might call it a leading of the spirit. It's that flash of insight, or creative impulse, or sudden clarity you get when you've been working out a problem; or it might be a leading or itch to act on something you never thought of before. It's sometimes quiet and subtle, and sometimes loud and clear.

Day 7: Review and Plan

Take a few minutes to review your seventh week. Write about your accomplishments and what you need to work on. Did you:

• Brainstorm some goals, dreams, and exciting ideas for your future in the areas of Love, social skills, friends and family?

• Write about your personality style, how you interact with people, and about any problems you are having now with the people in your life, and ask yourself, "What one skill would most benefit me in my current relationships and situations?"

• List just a few (2-4) specific Social Skills Goals for this next month (30 days) and add them to your Month Map and your priority grid?

• Make an informal analysis of your temperament and personality characteristics., and investigate your unique preferences and style of behavior?

• Make a list of your top-ten strengths, and some of your character limitations

• Plan a self-cultivation project by choosing the top few character limitations that cause you the biggest challenges in life, defining what you would like to change about these limitations, and framing each of these as strengths to build?

• Write about times you have used your strengths to excess, and brainstorm the kinds of situations that frequently push you into excess?

• Choose one habit of excess, plot how you could manage it, and add this one new management habit to your self-cultivation plan?

• Brainstorm a list of all the virtue habits you would like to practice sometime, choose one or two virtue habits to work at now, and write a definition for each that speaks to you?

• Make a virtue chart and use it to evaluate your growth in your virtue habits, or use your Love Journal to track your virtue practices?

• Write about people in your life who are difficult partners in the relationship dance, pinpoint factors that seem to push those people into excess, and list a few steps you could take to smooth out the dance? 

Day 6: The Relationship Dance

You have been pondering your personality for several days now, considering how you can cultivate yourself to be more loving and virtuous, and how to grow a better relationship with the world. 

But relationships are a dance with partners, who have their own styles, strengths, and excesses. If we bump up against them in the wrong way, we might send them reeling into excess, which will possibly spark our own spiral into excess, and it can become a crazy dance pretty fast.

The relationship dance is complex, and it helps to take some time to practice the steps. If you are having conflict or discomfort with another person on a regular basis, you might find yourself saying, "I just don't understand where he's coming from." And that is exactly the problem: You don't understand his style, his strengths, or what pushes him into excess. You can use your instincts and a little thought to figure it out.

The most common factors leading to excess are physical factors: Hunger, lack of sleep, illness, hormones, and stress. The list below shows generalized examples of other factors, divided into four personality styles. (Note that its normal for people to fall into more than one style):

1. Easy-going Accommodating Styles might get excessive if they perceive unfriendliness or disapproval; have an intense confrontation; have too little structure; feel stifled by deadlines; or if others reinforce their clowning.

Day 4: Manage your Excesses

Let's talk some more about managing your strengths. Every human strength has a point at which it becomes excessive, and then it is no longer useful and can even be hurtful. Because excess is the exaggeration of a strength you have, you will never completely get rid of it, but you can moderate and manage it, and learn to be comfortable with the times you slip into excess.

For example, I am analytical and can see quickly in my mind how any plan will play out. I'm a good judge of the pros and cons, and can often give good advice. But this kind of analysis is simply not appropriate or useful all of the time, and, pared up with my strong need for truth-telling, it can be a big problem. When I use my analysis to shoot down ideas, or silence dreamers, I've gone into excess.

I've become a pretty good manager of this strength, but it took me way too long to even realize that I had a problem. I've learned to bite my tongue (some of the time) and say, "You could be right"; I've learned to take the time to listen to understand, encourage brainstorming, and ask before offering my advice. Because I'm aware now of this particular habit I have, I can and do apologize when I go into excess and think I might have hurt someone's feelings.

Take out your journal and look at the list of strengths you made yesterday.

• Write about times you have used your strengths to excess. Brainstorm the kinds of situations that frequently push you into excess.

Some examples:

Day 3: Start a Self-Cultivation Project

Now that you have a baseline understanding of your personality, you can begin to analyze your strengths and limitations, and set some goals for cultivating yourself. Think of this as a gentle, loving, gardening project: You are trimming a little here, and feeding this and that, so that you will grow a better relationship with the world.

You can't really change your personality, but you can moderate your degrees of reaction, and build on your strengths. And remember that your strengths and limitations, are subjective. Some might seem quite clear from the journaling you did yesterday; for example, I listed that I am persistent and conscientious, and also that I am distractible and reserved - it's easy to say which are strengths and which are weaknesses, right?

But some strengths can become problems if we don't manage the intensity. My conscientiousness can make me inflexible, judgmental, and didactic. I've had to learn to appreciate and love those with a more spontaneous style, and manage the intensity of my expectations of myself and others. (I work to cultivate spontaneity in my personality, and enjoy the paradox of scheduling times to be spontaneous!)

Some of your personality characteristics might seem like weaknesses to you, but in fact be strengths. For example, I used to think that my introversion was a limitation because it's not valued in our culture, but I now celebrate it as a strength. Another of my apparent weaknesses is that I am not a great team player, but that has given me the strength to be self-employed and self-sufficient (and I still work at growing my teamwork skills.)

Take out your journal and make two lists:

• Make a list of your top-ten strengths, such as loyalty, honesty, compassion, respect for others, conscientiousness, thriftiness, love of learning, friendliness, and fairness.

Day 2: Know Yourself

Understanding your unique temperament and personality style will help you to have appropriate expectations for yourself. Knowing yourself well makes your experience of life richer, larger, and more exciting. It allows you to make better decisions, express what you need and want in life, and understand what motivates you to resist bad habits and develop good ones.

Today you will make an informal analysis of your temperament and personality characteristics. You were born with some of these characteristics, and some you developed at a young age. Remember as you examine these that they are not innately good or bad, even though it might seem like it. The language is a problem sometimes - we might all want to be labeled "conscientious" but some of us are just more spontaneous and easy-going, and I'm so glad we are all different!

If some of your particular characteristics are troublesome, it's because you haven't yet figured out how to administer them well, or mesh them with other personalities. Today you will gather the data without judgement. Tomorrow you will use this list to make a plan for building on your strengths and moderating your weakness, so make particular note of any insights you have today.

Get out your (old) Journal Notebook and investigate your unique preferences and style of behavior in any way that seems best - you can write descriptions, rate these on a spectrum of one to ten, or just note which are particularly high or low for you:

• 
  Activity level: Are you a high-energy, on-the-go person, or are you more likely to move slowly and engage in quieter, calmer activities?

• Bio-rhythms: Do you like to stick to a predictable routine, or are your rhythms more  irregular, so that you enjoy a varied schedule?

Week 7: Act in Love + Day 1: Journal & Set Intentions

We've been occupied with love the last two weeks, coming at it from different angles. We've looked at the habits of kindness, generosity, and equanimity, and we've looked at nurturing yourself. You've been working towards Maitri, an honest and direct friendship with yourself: You pay attention to yourself the way you would a good friend - with curiosity, compassion, and gentleness. The next step, then, is to try to understand yourself even better, to be honest and clear-sighted about your strengths and limitations. What is it about you that drives and informs your values and your goals? What makes you behave the way you routinely behave?

We each have distinctive styles of how we interact with other people and our environment, and different motives, habits, and needs. This week we will look closer at your temperament and your personality. 

Your temperament is your unique style of responding to external events. The traits of temperament are those you are born with, probably inherited from your parents, and these become the foundation for your personality, which begins to develop in your early years. Personality includes your temperament, and also behaviors and preferences that you learn by experience.

It's helpful to analyze yourself a bit, and get the ducks of your personality in a row! Then you can accept your personal style, and look closer at the specific habits you need to cultivate in order to improve your relationships, and act in love.

Day 6: Create Inner Synergy

Stephen Covey says "Fulfilling the four needs [spiritual, mental, physical, social] in an integrated way is like combining elements in chemistry. When we reach a "critical mass" of integration, we experience spontaneous combustion-- an explosion of inner synergy that ignites the fire within and gives vision, passion, and a spirit of adventure to life." 

"Inner synergy" is when your body, mind, spirit, and heart are all cooperating to produce a combined effect greater than the sum of their separate effects. I love the image of "an explosion of inner synergy", and I've experienced that passion, but I wondered if it was possible to harness that energy when I want it and need it. 

Can we create inner synergy purposefully and on demand? Can you build it intentionally, for a particular project, in order to infuse that project with vision and passion, and engage with full effort?

I thought it was possible and designed an experimental plan, which I've been testing for a few years now to good effect. Give it a try, over the next few days:

• Choose a high priority project, that connects to your values and principles, something you want to do soon; something challenging but within your abilities.

• Each step below has multiple ways to engage. You can take as much or as little time with the steps as you like - you might want to stretch it out over a few days, repeating each step a few times in different ways, building a little more energy each time. Or you can speed shift through the steps, and explode into action today!

Day 4: Map and Plan Life-Long Learning

Today you will make a plan to renew and nurture your mind. Mental nurturance comes in the form of life-long learning - the process of acquiring and expanding knowledge and skills throughout your life. Learning is just as nurturing as is eating good food; if you give your brain something fascinating and challenging to digest, in small bites, you will be amazed at the insights and ideas that will bubble up, and the new mental strength and clarity you will gain.

Adults are motivated to learn because of internal factors such as self-esteem, a desire for a better quality of life, or the opportunity to reach life goals. But it’s still difficult to fit in time to learn anything that isn’t essential. And if you do mental work for a living every day, you might not feel like reading in the evening; more like a sit-com on TV! 

So, let's get creative and broaden the definition. Life-long learning can be accomplished by reading books, but also by listening to podcasts, taking classes, watching a documentary, going to a museum, attending a lecture, or joining a discussion group - all these things will nurture your mental self.

Day 3: Map and Plan Self-Care Habits

Photo by Steve Abbott

For the next three days you will make a plan for self-renewal, a steady and persistent nurturance of the physical, mental, and spiritual parts of yourself. (We will look at the emotional and social parts next week.) Today you will start with your physical self.

Caring for your body is of obvious importance; that's what gives you the energy and health you need to be effective and succeed at your priorities. Physical self-care involves eating well, exercising, sleeping enough, playing, and also, because it's part of physical survival, budgeting, saving, and spending within your means.

You KNOW these things help: When you eat too much meat or sugar, you feel too sluggish to get much done; when you lack sleep or regular exercise, you lose focus; and when you over-work and don't take time for recreation, you get sick. And taking care of your finances reduces stress, and makes everything easier.

Take out your Love Journal:

• First review conversations and interactions you had yesterday, and your general frame of mind with the world.

• Next, think about the people you will see today, and the conversations you may have. Make note of times when you might need to draw on nurturance for yourself.

• And then answer these queries:

Day 2: Daily Self-Kindness Challenge

This week you will use your Love Journal in a slightly different way, looking for ways to extend kindness, and practice friendship with yourself. When you can pay attention to yourself the way you would a good friend, with curiosity, compassion, and gentleness, you create a sanctuary for yourself to grow and thrive.

Think about those same two love habits we talked about last week, equanimity and generosity, and consider how you might offer them as a gift to yourself:

-Generosity is the ability to be open-hearted and open-handed with self-love; to put full effort into caring for yourself, and to give yourself the benefit of the doubt. Generosity requires extravagant love and alertness to your own needs. 

-Equanimity is the ability to maintain an even-temper, patience, and grounded-ness in the midst of the chaos of life and your own perplexing behavior. It allows you to remember that your needs are not always logical, but are always more important than your schedule. Equanimity is a habit that requires that you cut yourself some slack and allow yourself to be imperfect. 

For example, I know that I don't respond well to being criticized, and I am impatient with illogical ideas. When I know I'll see someone who might push my buttons, I can plan to have equanimity ... BUT that's my growing edge, and if I don't manage perfect equanimity, I want to be prepared to offer myself a balm of patience and kindness, because feeling angry with myself doesn't help. 

I realize that half the work of equanimity is understanding how I am feeling and stilling that voice of impatience with myself! It's all there in my Zen Pause habit:

1. Name how I'm feeling.

2. Hold my feelings in love and light.

3. Expand my thinking. 

I want to understand myself, and what sends me out of balance so I can (possibly) do better next time.

What is your growing edge?

Week 6: Love Thyself + Day 1: Journal & Set Intentions

When Buddhists practice loving-kindness they begin with a self-love practice called maitri, because when you learn to act loving towards yourself it’s easier to act loving towards others. 

Maitri is an honest and direct friendship with yourself: You pay attention to yourself the way you would a good friend, with curiosity, compassion, and gentleness. You get to know and understand yourself, and accept yourself as you are. I'm not talking about narcissism or self-indulgence - maitri requires some amount of tough love. You need to be honest about your faults and attachments, be present with all your emotions and fears, and be committed to "growing up". You just keep making progress, with dedication, patience, humor, and no judgement.

The self-love habit has two parts: The first part is building love skills, such as equanimity and generosity, with and for yourself. If you, for example, learn to resist unkind mental talk towards yourself or practice patience with your own mistakes, it's easier to remember to do the same for others. And self-love leads to self-respect and a deep inner peace: You learn to trust your instincts and rest comfortably within the sanctuary of your being. 

The second part is what Stephen Covey calls “filling the well”- that steady nurturance of your body, mind, and spirit that makes you wiser, healthier, and more resilient. In order to live a life in balance, you must take the necessary time to renew yourself with relaxation, exercise, a little study, contemplation, laughter, or any number of other activities you choose to refresh yourself with. 

This week you will begin the work of being a true friend to yourself so that you may become a better friend to others. 

A note about keeping a sabbath

In the best world, everyone would have one whole day each week to spend as we want; to stay in bed, read a good book, take a slow walk or do a crossword; one whole day to do no work, run no errands, send no emails, and clean no toilets! And why don't we? Mostly because we don't make it a priority.

Make a New Priority Grid

We are entering the 4th week of the month and it's time to consider a new month ahead. This might seem like a lot to do, on top of this next week of love practices! But you have all week to do it, and you can do as much or as little as you like. 

At the minimum, please check the links below and review the process; perhaps choose one priority area of your life to evaluate and plan for, as practice.

Monthly

Fourth week of each month (or at the waning crescent moon - time to evaluate, then surrender, rest, and recuperate.)

Make a new Priority Grid:

1. Evaluate last month's Priority Grid to notice trends, analyze your balance, make adjustments to your schedule and expectations, and identify "low-status" priorities.

2. Brainstorm and envision the best next 30-days of your life.

3. Discern your top 4-5 priorities for "regular" action, for the month ahead, and choose your top action goals, to move you in the direction of your most important reasons for living.

4. Make a Month Map, arranging your goals in an order that helps you picture your month ahead, and label it with a theme word or phrase.

5. Organize your next month goals into a Prioritiy Grid, outlining your long term, complex, task-driven projects into small chunks with a backwards calendar.

Day 7: Review and Plan

Take a few minutes to review your fifth week. Write about your accomplishments and what you need to work on. Did you:

• Brainstorm some goals, dreams, and exciting ideas for your future in the areas of your relationships, your family, your friends, and your community, and ways you want to be of service?

• List a just a few (2-4) specific Love Goals for this next month?

• Set intentions to follow through with each of your priorities for the week?

• Open the door to bodhichitta (your completely open heart and mind) with a 5-minute Love Meditation?

• Start a new Love Journal and make notes in it, each day, of conversations and interactions you had the previous day, your general frame of mind with the world, and about the people you will see and conversations you may have in the day to come?

• Write about your growing edge - where you most need to focus your attention when it comes to love?

• Brainstorm some goals for extending kindness to the world; for creating and nurturing your community; small generous acts you might do this week; and a list of bigger actions you could take someday to help your community and your world in the days or months ahead; and some goals for equanimity - and add them to your Month Map or your Inspiration Page?

• Try out the 'Zen Pause" practice to internalize equanimity?

Day 6: Brainstorm Equanimity

Equanimity is another essential love habit - the ability to maintain an even-temper, patience, and grounded-ness in the midst of the chaos of life and the perplexing behavior of others.

Equanimity is an expression of love: It’s the serenity we exhibit when we have to wait, and also the kindness we show to those “difficult people” who don’t listen to reason, who interrupt, who are overly sensitive, or who are so annoying. Equanimity allows us to let go of frustration and irritation, and treat those people with skill and gentleness. It allows us to counter disrespect and contempt with compassion, and to remember that human needs are not always logical, but are always more important than our schedule.

Equanimity is a habit that requires love and self-control; it requires that you cut people slack and allow them to be imperfect; that you relax and let go of time anxiety; and that you acknowledge your impatience and irritation but don't act on them. It's powerful; it opens hearts. People feel liberated when you let them know that you are unruffled and in no hurry. Your patience is a gift to them, and will allow them to heal and grow.

And it's not only useful with in-the-moment situations, but also for grounded-ness in the face of world upheaval and fears about the future. Life is a rainbow of chaos, and equanimity is a super-power that will get you through.

One practice I have used to internalize equanimity, is what I call my "Zen Pause". I practice it when I am calm so that I will be able (perhaps) to use it in times of stress. Stand up right now and try this:

Day 5: Brainstorm Generosity

The work this week is to define and set intentions for cultivating the habits of love, at your own growing edge.  Today we will give attention to generosity, the habit of being open-hearted and open-handed with any undertaking that involves a commitment of time, effort, and/or money.

When we are generous, we share what we have freely - money, food, help, or time- without expectation of reward or return. We put full effort into looking after people. We are open-minded, give people the benefit of the doubt, and grant them our attention and life force. We are of service to the world.

Generosity begins in your heart. It requires extravagant love and alertness to other’s needs. It also requires courage, in order to step outside of your comfort zone and be generous to all kinds of people. Consider your growing edge with respect to generosity: How can you increase the flow of blessings in the world? You might need to push past feelings of reluctance and fear to a place where generosity is spontaneous and fun. Or you might need to get creative with generous acts that fit into your schedule.

(Please note that generosity is not a habit that has come easy for me! I am not by nature an openhanded or open-minded person; I like to hold onto my marbles, and I don't "suffer fools", as they say. But I've worked at this habit for a long, long time, and can attest to it being learnable.)

Take out your Love Journal:

Day 4: Plan to Create New Community

Your community includes every single person you know or meet: Your family, friends, neighbors, co-workers, acquaintances, shopkeepers, and the people you pass on the streets. Your community might also include people you talk with online. 

Community is inclusive and often accidental, and you need this kind of diversity in your community to fuel the most growth in your life. You will be gifted by many chance encounters with people who will propel you towards excellence. 

However, you can also intentionally and strategically create new community that meets your currant needs, gathering in the friendships that help you to grow into a better person. 

For example, two years ago, when I had a clear but undefined impulse to become more active for social justice, I went to a variety of events and committee meetings until I found the two action groups I wanted to join. I based my choice on the people I liked best, and consequently, made friends who are now essential to my life and priorities.

Maybe you want to find someone to talk to or walk with, or a neighbor who can help you with yard work, or an online study group... the options for community are endless (even in a pandemic).

Take out your Love Journal: